yesterday i did a post about 5 things in my bag, 5 of my favorite things in my bedroom, 5 things i’ve always wanted to do, etc.
under the 5 favorite things in my bedroom, i mentioned this….
which lavenderbay inquired about. it deserves its own post because it is about loss, and love and healing.
when my dog loki died in 2004 my friend susan showed up with a card with a $100 bill in it. i thought it was strange to get cash in a sympathy card, but she explained: that 100 dollars was to use to tribute my dog in some way, whether it was a grave stone, a pet urn, whatever i wanted to do to memorialize this dog that i loved so much.
so, i held on to the money for weeks, wondering what to do. everything just seemed so cliche, so unimportant, so…unloki. then i remembered my friend jill does stained glass panels. we talked and here’s what we decided:
the colors in the panel are all colors of the bandanas she wore the most and she just looked SO CUTE in them. we decided to have a crystal hanging, to catch the light, so that every now and then a sunbeam would flash and i could remember my girl.
then the dog biscuit cookie cutter. she would sit so patiently while the baking and mixing was happening, but as the first pan exited the oven, she knew a cookie was in her future.
there are two charms hanging together, a raspberry and a strawberry. once when loki didn’t know i was looking, i saw her through the window. she was sniffing all the strawberries in the backyard. i had called my dad that morning and said the strawberries were coming along fine, by that afternoon the first one would be perfectly ripe! after work, i watched her sniff each berry, return to the ripe one, look around to make sure no one saw, gently plucked it off the stem with her teeth, look around, eat it, then slink in through the doggie door as if nothing had ever happened. that was when i learned she loved berries. particularly raspberries, they were her favorite treat.
the soccer ball charm. a few days a week we would go to the soccer fields by my house. no one was ever there, 6 soccer fields! and she and i would play soccer. a couple times i put her in goal and she blocked shots. so cute. she LOVED soccer balls. kicking them with her feet, carrying soft ones in her mouth. that was one of the most fun activities i have ever had in my life. ever.
jill surprised me with the mirror. when she gave it to me she said that the most important thing to loki….what made loki her special self…was me. the bottom corner has little places to put little memory notes….
but i never used them because that cat of mine always batted them out.
in the top left is a picture of her, …..giving me her paw. she always had her paw on me. she was my border chow. my girl. the dog of my heart. she seemed to understand everything i said. she looked in my eyes and with a look that said, “i love you and i understand you”. and to this day, even though she’s a dog and it may seem weird, i believe she was my best friend ever, my soul mate, and that she and i have been together since the beginning of time….some how.
so, lavenderbay, thanks for asking. i’m crying, but thanks for asking….
