cody bear's friends

dogs of our hearts


this page was initially a post a few months ago, but its important, so i gave it its own page


there are several stupid emails circulating about what we have learned from our dogs. “always wag, spin around 3 times before laying down”, lots of bullshit really. (so, here is where you realize this is my first non-cheery post. you can tell because….i will actually capitalize.)

the poop bag:

I have learned so many things from my dogs, and while I blog mostly about Cody Bear, my current dog, tonight I am going to tell you what I learned from Loki, the dog of my heart, first. Then, I will give you the life lesson Cody and I both worked on tonight. So here goes:


Granted, the cliches are true: I did learn unconditional love from the sweet, perfect, black as night, border-chow. I did. But tonight, I want you to know that one of THE MOST IMPORTANT LOKI LESSONS came upon her passing. Before Loki died, I had friends I loved, coworkers I cared for or endured, and volunteers I respected and liked. Also, acquaintances that intrigued me, dog park folk who “got me” and, how ever associated….family.


In the weeks that followed her death, way to early and way shocking, the huge population of characters in my life shifted: some blurred a bit, while others (some unexpected) came forward as dog lovers or people that truly, undeniably and with grave emotion…. understood my grief.

They understood it, and whether I had known them two decades or two days, those people emerged as loving, compassionate and enlightened souls to me. MC, who I respected but I didn’t yet know well, opened her heart to me immeasurably. My sister changed her entire life schedule to be with me any moment of the day. D,L, & H were there to fill any sorrowful moments for any length of time. My “BFF” searched out the perfect squishy stuffed dog for me to squeeze and cry on during the icky moments. Long lost friends K & J heard the news and searched me out and offered…anything they could. Countless others showed love, compassion, understanding and warmth as a result of Loki’s passing. Others….showed little understanding and little warmth, and that, too is a lesson.


Even two years later, a friend who had never felt the pain but had been there every second she could while I went through the grief, said something to me that hit my heart and knocked me over. CSC, who wasn’t sure she understood what I felt when Loki died, waded through it with me. She rushed to the animal hospital, hugged me then and hugged me daily afterwards. When Claye died, (a dear friend of Loki’s) she told me she never understood what I felt until then. That admission still hits me. I’m still learning. I may forever find hearts that understand.


So… her last lesson was a lesson of humanity.


Every thing I learned from that perfect dog, the dog of my heart, was deep; a nurturing and strong sort of lesson plan.

Then came Cody Bear….

Having learned as much, but oh so different, I continue my journey with this crazy little bear. Patience: that’s been an important and ongoing lesson. Forgiveness: I still miss some of those shoes, and pants, and reading materials…but it is time to let the healing begin. Tranquility: like the dog’s freaky belly, you have to make time for peace to heal your soul.

Today’s lesson….

The bare bones of it is that 1. he is bad at agility. 2. I am bad at agility……

3. …..WE BOTH LOVE IT. We had a BLAST.

So maybe tonight’s lesson is: do something for the sake of doing, to have fun, not to prove anything, not to be the best. Make asses of yourself, smile, wag. Do your best, but do it because you want to have FUN. And….share it with someone furry that you love.


So… Ruben and Anna,

It hurts so much, but you get to learn from it. And mostly, from now on, you get to love Rosie AND the rest of your furry family even more. You get to love them more because in addition to being your kids, they’re your teachers. And they love you forever. The real forever…the forever that really lasts forever.

To sum it up….

While it sucks. (it just sucks so much) Losing a dog is the worst and weirdest thing that can happen. Maybe it is the worst because its weird. Who knows. But here’s one of the coolest lessons, what a friend (J) had said: “You’re so lucky to have loved someone SO much that you hurt so much that they’re gone.”

Do you get that? Like: how horribly unsatisfying to go through life and not have someone, a dog, to love enough and to share so much joy with that it actually ….sucks this immeasurably, wretchedly and inconsolably much.

15 Comments so far
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Oh sweetie boy you are soooooo CUTE!!!!!!

Comment by Fluffy

What a bittersweet story.

Comment by 4urpets

[…] from time to time, just because she was so important to me.  to learn more about her, you can click here.  it just sums up how much she impacted my life. Posted by goodbear Filed in animals, daily […]

Pingback by loki - dog of my heart « DOG DAILY PHOTO

I’m so glad I found your blog about Loki.

I, too, have loved and lost the perfect being. My PoGo… it’s been almost 6 years now, and the pain is as acute as it was on April 6, 2002. I can totally sympathize, empathize and understand your feelings.

Reading your blog has reopened old, raw wounds and I cannot continue at this time, but I will be back.

Thank you for putting your soul out there for me (and others, I’m sure) to connect with.


Comment by roux2

roux, thanks for stopping by. very sorry to hear about pogo.
there is nothing at all like losing a dog you love. they’re too important.

i hope you’ll come visit the blog again. and when you’re ready, write. it sometimes helps.

Comment by goodbear

Ok~I read the lesson from Loki and I can’t stop crying right now. Bless you and this is sooooo true. I will go dry up and be back for Cody Bear’s lesson. *sniff*

BTW~this is a wonderful lesson and story-so helpful for me at this moment. Thanks for sharing!

Comment by Mercedes

mercedes, i’m glad you found this page. i still don’t know if anything will ever be harder than losing my dog. take care of yourself.

Comment by goodbear

How beautiful and bittersweet! I’m learning as I go with my new puppy – and always trying to keep in mind to enjoy whatever he brings to the day – whether it be the perfect hurdle jump … OR whether he grabs the hurdle and runs off with it for a chewfest! Thanks for sharing your doggies with the world!

Comment by Kelly

kelly, thanks for taking the time to read about loki and cody bear. what kind of puppy did you get?
i’m getting a new puppy in a few weeks, myself. a border collie mix.

Comment by goodbear

[…] dogs of our hearts […]

Pingback by toothmarks and all « cody bear’s friends

Hi, me again! I’ve only just joined WordPress so hadn’t seen this post. It made me cry. Very moving stuff, so important, so BIG. Any one who shares their life with a dog hopefully knows how amazing they are and how much we unconsciously invest in them – and them in us. You went through a lot – and came through it as we have to do. We never forget those that meant so much and it’s very hard coming to terms with it. Ho hum . . .

Comment by Hilary

Your Cody Bear looks very similar to our Koda Bear, whom we adopted from the Humane Society three years ago. They didn’t have any history on our her and guessed on the mix, they think she is Chow Chow and German Shepard. What mix is Cody Bear?

Comment by krocz

[…] (it was about a year before i adopted loki) […]

Pingback by my sweet louise « Blog Archive « DOG DAILY PHOTO

[…] dogs of our hearts […]

Pingback by sometimes a doxie needs help « cody bear’s friends

I appreciate being able to read about your Loki more completely than simply a reference to her… and I have a great respect for you and others who “get it” and a profound sense of sorrow for those who don’t.
Without knowing it,those who don’t have a great empty space in their lives and will never know the immense amount of love WE get from something that is thought of by others as “just a dog” or “just a cat”.
I’ve never had “just a dog”. I’ve had 6 companions that broke my heart when each one passed away….just like the humans I have lost have done. But when one passes away, another appears in his/her place: wagging-smiling-chasing squirrels-growling for breakfast-or snuggling close when WE are in pain.
Always, forever: FRIEND!
Thanks, George!

Comment by sambissell

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